Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Cooter Brown

The Shakespearean Insult Generator

Recommended Posts

Cooter Brown

The death of R. Lee Ermey led me to find the youtube video of the famous scene at the beginning of "Full Metal Jacket" in which he introduces himself.

 

Anyone who has paid attention knows that Ermey came up with the dialog himself, which consisted of some titanic insults, including the majestic "...grabasstic, disorganized piece of amphibian sh**."

 

This gem put me in mind of something I ran across some time back--the Shakespearean Insult Generator!

 

The Shakespearean Insult Generator

 

Enjoy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
sprocket

I guess R. Lee was a sort of special breed of DI's meaning from a different time/place than now working under rules that were not in place then. but are now...

So yeah, the Shakespearian insults apply - kinda like the rhetoric thrown about in that film with Tom Lee Jones being in congress when the civil war and blahblahblah - goes home with a signed document - from congress - to "borrow" for the night - then shows his bedmate the script.  Now back up to the argument and interaction on the floor - pure gold, would love to address our current sitting senators in the same fashion...

Quote

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Rockdoc

Since this thread is about insults I thought I'd share a few. Below is a list of classy insults my late wife poached off the internet eight years ago. One thing I learned early on in our marriage, you didn’t enter into a war of words with her unless you were very well armed.  

Persiflage: Insults with Class

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

—Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."

—Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."

—Clarence Darrow

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."

—Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."

—Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."

—Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

—Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."

—Oscar Wilde

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."

—Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."

—John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."

—Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."

—Samuel Johnson

"He had delusions of adequacy."

—Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."

—Jack E. Leonard

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."

—Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."

—James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."

—Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."

—Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"

—Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

—Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

—Oscar Wilde

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."

—Billy Wilder

"Forgive me for shaking your hand with my left; I eat with the other one."

—Dr. Goodword

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ccavacini

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"

—Mark Twain

 

I used this line many times when I taught high school English.  Kids could never figure out when I meant by it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Spin

Fi on thee foul varlets!, Aw c'mon back. I was only kidding, I didn't mean it, honest.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×