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Rogue Hunter

Jokes anyone?

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NW River Mac

I rear ended a car at  stop light the other day.  The door of the car flew open and a dwarf hopped out and begins his hurried walk toward my car.  He looked really pissed so i was a bit nervous.  He  stretches up and pounds of my window so I roll it down a bit.  He says, " I'm not happy".  I say, "well which one are you then?"

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charlo slim
16 hours ago, NW River Mac said:

I rear ended a car at  stop light the other day.  The door of the car flew open and a dwarf hopped out and begins his hurried walk toward my car.  He looked really pissed so i was a bit nervous.  He  stretches up and pounds of my window so I roll it down a bit.  He says, " I'm not happy".  I say, "well which one are you then?"

 

Grumpy?

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Birdcountry70

I just returned from Pakistan where I was offered 20 camels in exchange for my wife.  I usually smoke Marlboros but a deal is a deal.

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Rockdoc

An elderly man is having his annual physical. Near the end the doctor asks him about his “regularity”. He says “I’m having a problem with regularity.” When the doctor inquires what the problem is he says “Well, every morning at 5am I urinate, followed by a bowel movement at 6am”. The doctor exclaims “That’s wonderful! I wish I had your regularity!” To which his patient replies “Yah, but the regularity problem is that I don’t wake up until 7am!”

Steve

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Big Al

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406dn

I am enjoying the jokes,,most of mine are a little ribald for general posting. However this one always gets a laugh when I tell it to older men.

 

 

A gentleman is getting a complete physical upon receiving his medicare card. The doctor tells him that given his age, he is doing well. Then the doctor asks "Do you have anything you want to ask me?

 

"Well" says the man,,, I do have one question. "When I was a young man of 20, when I had an erection,,, no matter how hard I tried, I could not bend it in any direction.

 

Then beginning around 40 if I really tried I could bend the end a bit.

 

At about fifty, if I really really tried,,,I could bend one to almost 90 degrees.

 

Now recently,, If I really try I can bend one back on itself.

 

So here's my question....How much stronger am I going to get?

 

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Rockdoc

A little Johnny joke.

It’s Monday and the teacher says “Students, your weekend assignment was to learn a new word, now I’d like to hear you say the word and use it in a sentence.”

Johnny’s has a word and he’s going crazy raising his hand. However, his teacher’s learned that his well-intentioned answers can cause trouble. Finally he’s the only one left so grudgingly the teacher says “Okay Johnny what’s the new word you learned?”

Johnny stands up and with a big smile says “The word is urinate teacher!”

His teacher says “Okay that’s an eligible word (heavy sigh) now I’d like you to use it in a sentence.”

Johnny’s not a bad kid but he realizes that there’s a problem. In such situations he always asks himself what his big brother Bubba would do WWBD. Finally, Johnny decides to use flattery “Urinate teacher!”

His teacher looks at him confused and aghast. Johnny stands there thinking, WWBD! WWBD! WWBD! More flattery! Finally he says “Urinate teacher but if you had bigger boobs you’d be a 10!”

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