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jmooney

Fart stories....

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jmooney

Alright, it's Friday, I've had a crappy week, I need a laugh.  Whether you admit it or not, farts are funny.  So let's hear you're best fart stories.  Bring 'em on!!

Jim

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Rugerdog
No way in hell I could share my best one on this forum...It's freakin awesome, however...

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Lurch

I was a firm believer that moms did not fart (or piffle, or fannyburp, or....), just like parents really did not have sex....

Then in 4th grade while me and my buddy were accompanying his mom to the grocery store, she bent over to pick up a gallon of milk off the bottom shelf and released a duck call.

We were both so shocked, we didn't know what to do. Then the look of horror on his mom's face when she stood back up looking around to see if anyone heard it made us start to snicker, then laugh, then eventually we were rolling on the grocery store floor with tears running down nearly peeing ourselves in hysterics.

And that's the day I found out Moms really are human.

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jmooney
No way in hell I could share my best one on this forum...It's freakin awesome, however...

No way, you can't do that.   Out with it!

Mooney

PS - You wookie looks chunkier than mine.

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jmooney
I was a firm believer that moms did not fart (or piffle, or fannyburp, or....), just like parents really did not have sex....

Then in 4th grade while me and my buddy were accompanying his mom to the grocery store, she bent over to pick up a gallon of milk off the bottom shelf and released a duck call.

We were both so shocked, we didn't know what to do. Then the look of horror on his mom's face when she stood back up looking around to see if anyone heard it made us start to snicker, then laugh, then eventually we were rolling on the grocery store floor with tears running down nearly peeing ourselves in hysterics.

And that's the day I found out Moms really are human.

That's what I'm talking about LOL.  It's kinda of like the first time you wife burns your leg while your in bed.  A rite of passage for sure.

Mooney

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Rugerdog

...My wife and I still do not fart in each other's presence...Honest.

Save for the one time, mooney...And that is what my story is about...I'll PM you, but really, cannot say it here...

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BradSouth
This is sensative subject after being hospitalized from sunday till Thursday afternoon with a violent bout of somthing that upset the balanced my symbotic gut flora that didn't allow me the pleasure of a good ole fart all week which would have been great, but usually ended with a call to the nurse for a new gown bed sheets and a haz mat bag to carry it all away in and towels to shower with. So eat your chili this weekend roll up on your back and light a few for the kids and cherish the DRY ones. Glad to be back home and out of that place with no diagnosis now do you want to hear about vomiting without tosils that was fun too i would say it was a 70/30 70% came out of my mouth and 30% came through my nose. Now back to Flava Flav

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Ben Hong

Definition of a liar:

Someone who denies ever having farted in bed and then held his wife's head under the sheets...in their playful youth of course. :laugh:  :D

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Rugerdog
Umm...Uh...Wow, Brad...Yikes, that sucks...

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Ben Hong
Umm...Uh...Wow, Brad...Yikes, that sucks...

No, that blows!

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Guest

Moon Man,

I was in South Dakota, at the Pheasant Crest Lodge. After dinner, and right before desert, I had one of those fart machines with a remote control and was playing some jokes on a couple of friends.

The owner's 92 year old grandmother was one of the cooks, started laughing so hard after she figured out what it was and how it worked, that she actually stop breathing.

Once she started to breath again, the first words out of her mouth were, "Can I borrow that, and take it to Church tomorrow?"

Can you picture a little 92 year old lady in a small South Dakota church operating a fart machine while the priest was saying Mass?

Gary.

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Brad Eden
I always blame it on one of the dogs.

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Breakfast Boy

Okay, first of all....TWO DANCING WOOKIES?!!!!?  I am SO jealous!!!!!!!!!!  And here I thought I was president of the Dancing Wookie Fan Club!  I feel like Mooney just cheated on me!  LOL!

:p

Second of all....if RugerDog won't share his fart story, I'm guessing it happened during sex.

:oops:

Third of all....my most infamous fart story....

I was a freshman in high school and for some stupid reason, I let my mom talk me into signing up for French Language 101.  She said I needed to learn a second language and Spanish was filled, so French it was.  Well, I turned out to be the only boy in the entire class!  Cool if you wanted to meet girls, bad because the other guys made fun of ya.  Anyway, I sat in the middle row, second desk back.  A girl named Becky sat in front of me.  Our desks had those plastic chairs that were not only uncomfortable, but I would soon find out they echoed every noise that came from a student's arse.  Oh, it wasn't me!  Rather, Becky farted in the middle of class and it echoed/vibrated on that chair something fierce!!!  Everyone in the room, including the teacher, turned and looked at me!!!!!  Becky looked at me too, but I could see the pleading in her eyes and I simply said "excuse me"!  The teacher continued, but I got disgusted looks from all the girls in class for the rest of the hour since they thought I had passed gas.  All but Becky though.  She stopped me in the hall and thanked me from the bottom of her heart after class.

I'll never, ever forget the fart in French class.

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Rugerdog
GREAT story, BB!! Good job there, bud...Was she hot?

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Rhode Island
I just farted

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