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jmooney

Fart stories....

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martydavis
I've cleared the room at two different jobs.  Big rooms.

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Breakfast Boy
GREAT story, BB!! Good job there, bud...Was she hot?

I knew that question would come up.  Unfortunately, no she wasn't.

:glare:

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WPG Gizmo
I am working up a story as you read :ghostface:

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Briarscratch

LOL Gary.

I don't have any great story but I'll admit that during the 9 day roadtrip to Alaska my buddy and I ate cheap Taco Bell bean burritos the whole way. They were a source of sustenance and entertainment.  Amazingly and thankfully, there were no sharting incidents.

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ANF grousin

Thanks for the laughs, I have tears rolling down my eyes.

BB, I'm thinking you're right about Rugerdog, who hasn't :p .

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Breakfast Boy
BB, I'm thinking you're right about Rugerdog, who hasn't :p .

LOL!  Yeah, but I want to know where she was when Rugerdog farted!!!!  Maybe that's the "awesome" part of the story!!!!

Rugerdog....  :oops:

Her....  Oo.gif

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Lurch

Ahh, the remote fart machine... that triggered another memory... at my last job (one I left voluntarily, thank you!), we had glass windowed conference rooms in the front of the building and the head muckity-mucks had a 9 am State of the Buisiness meeting every Wednesday.

Well, one of our guys from the prototype shop brought in one of those remote fart machines and so, of course, I had to borrow it. I duct taped it under the conference room table and then us peons waited until the meeting was underway. We could "prairie dog" from our cubes and see the result without drawing too much attention, so we'd let one rip, then watch as the discussion stopped, and everyone gave menacing disgusted glances at whoever was across the table from them. We were laughing so hard, we let a few "barking spiders" escape ourselves.

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Rugerdog
No, no, BB...I am not telling the story.

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trust me

I have a neighbor with some kind of condition...he has bouts of spontaneous farts the likes of which you have never heard.  His whole body jumps and it sounds like a 60 pound duck sounding off.  I'd pay good money to have him demonstrate at parties and such.   If he could control this and do it on command, he'd be a millionaire.

As it is, he just gets embarrassed a lot.

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ANF grousin

LOL!  Yeah, but I want to know where she was when Rugerdog farted!!!!  Maybe that's the "awesome" part of the story!!!!

I'm betting he straightened the curls right out of her hair :love: .

Rugerdog!!??

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idcut
I have a few, but one of the best, as told by my dad. My folks invited the Paster and his wife to dinner after a Sunday service(a very prim and proper couple it seems). My widowed Aunt was also invited. During supper, my Aunt, who had a lung problem, went into one of her coughing spells. While at the apex of her coughing spell, she started to fart with each cough. She jumped up and ran toward the bathroom coughing and farting all the way. My dad said that the Paster and the Misses, didn't miss a beat in the conversation, while they (my folks) could barely contain their laughter. Of course, my Aunt, after coming back to the table was very embarrassed and very apologetic.

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Ed Pirie

God, I have a million of these. It is hard to know which one to tell (or smell).

Many years ago we went down to my sister-in-law's for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving dinner always brings out what we call genuine "turkey delights."

The next day everyone wanted to go shopping at the Holyoke Mall in Holywoke, Mass. At the time there was this huge department store that went by the name of G.H. Fox. I don't know if it still is there, but it was kind of like an upscale J.C. Penny's. Anyway, while in the G.H. Fox store, it was announced that snowsuits would be on sale for one hour. Well parents with kids beat a path to the snowsuit racks. We got there and I let a couple of good ones rip. Well, pretty soon people were putting the snowsuits back on the rack and then they were just dropping them on the floor and leaving. I was laughing like hell and this made me fart all the more. This mother was hanging on to a little kid trying to make the kid stay and try on a snowsuit, but the kid was crying and saying, "But mommy, it smells so awful." The mother said, "I know, I know, but you are staying and trying on a snowsuit." The kid started really crying and said, "I can't , I can't." Finally, the kid broke loose and ran. The mother just dropped the snowsuit on the floor, covered her nose with her hand and ran too. It was bad, but it was pretty funny too. We always tell this story aroung the holidays.

By the way, I am no longer welcome at the Holyoke Mall, not that my feelings are hurt any. Can't wait to get into that turkey and dressing again this year.

Ed Pirie

West Topsham, Vermont

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rprovines

That's just awful Ed.... thanks for sharing.

Right at the moment I wish Chance were anywhere but at my feet.

My 'proper' sife, she'd never pass gas if anyone, including me, were around. I got home this evening and she was vacuuming. After a qucik bite to eat I went to take over for her as she was about to head up the steps and her knees are bad. She strenuously protested, and I insisted she allow me to take over for her.

Well, I think I discovered, literally walked into, why she didn't want me over there...

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Brad Adrian

Shipboard food always gave me gas. After 20 years in the Navy, I have spent a fair amount of time aboard ships, and passed more than my share of gas. Most memorable was aboard the USS Kittyhawk. Whatever I had eaten that day had made me extra potent, and I couldn't hold it in. I was living in a 189 man berthing space, and I cleared it. There were 3 or 4 guys running around with air freshener cans, spraying randomly and complaining loudly. I was laying behind my curtains with tears running down my cheeks from holding in the laughter.

I don't get gas like that anymore, and I miss it. Farts are fun.

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