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Fart stories....

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6th grade summer camp about 200 campers (girls and guys) are sitting on the cement basketball court while the mail is being handed out.  I was sitting indian style and felt a squeeker coming on.  I figured I let it out real nice and slow like in order to avoid any menecing glances.  Just as I was about to commit the act my buddy bumped me.  This caused a rippling effect whereby my exit strategy was completely compromised.  My little 'squeeker' was expelled with more force than desired and reverbirated off of the pavement like a gunshot in grand canyon.  :ghostface:  In unison (and I'll remember this forever) everyone in the camp and all of the councilors turned, fingers pointed directly at me, hands over mouths with stoic looks of disgust on their faces.  I turned, looking to deflect some of the publicity off onto my buddies, but they had vanished.  Everyone within 10 yards of me and immediately vacated my vicinity.  I was left sitting, prone with my legs crossed, by myself while 200+ people stared at me in disgust for what seemed like an eternity.  All I could do was half-heartedly try and blame it on someone else, but alas, I knew that I'd been beaten and the mixture of shame and pride were sanguine.  And no, after that display I never did recieve any attention from the sweet blond girl whom I had such a feverish crush on.

2 years later I distinctly remember my 8th grade algebra teacher pushing kids out of the way so that she could get her head out the window.  The smell was so terrible I dared not take credit.  Instead, I shamefully blamed it on the fat, redheaded girl.  I am profoundly sure that I will pay dire consequences for that act in the afterlife.  What lord in heaven would ever grant immunity to such a shameful act for two cardinal rules were broken on that day: 1.) pride in ownership, 2.) blaming a homely girl for a fart.  I wasn't even able to break my silence until 5 years afterwards :devil:

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  • jmooney


  • Rugerdog


  • Breakfast Boy


Okay, first of all....TWO DANCING WOOKIES?!!!!?  I am SO jealous!!!!!!!!!!  And here I thought I was president of the Dancing Wookie Fan Club!  I feel like Mooney just cheated on me!  LOL!


Second of all....if RugerDog won't share his fart story, I'm guessing it happened during sex.


Third of all....my most infamous fart story....

I was a freshman in high school and for some stupid reason, I let my mom talk me into signing up for French Language 101.  She said I needed to learn a second language and Spanish was filled, so French it was.  Well, I turned out to be the only boy in the entire class!  Cool if you wanted to meet girls, bad because the other guys made fun of ya.  Anyway, I sat in the middle row, second desk back.  A girl named Becky sat in front of me.  Our desks had those plastic chairs that were not only uncomfortable, but I would soon find out they echoed every noise that came from a student's arse.  Oh, it wasn't me!  Rather, Becky farted in the middle of class and it echoed/vibrated on that chair something fierce!!!  Everyone in the room, including the teacher, turned and looked at me!!!!!  Becky looked at me too, but I could see the pleading in her eyes and I simply said "excuse me"!  The teacher continued, but I got disgusted looks from all the girls in class for the rest of the hour since they thought I had passed gas.  All but Becky though.  She stopped me in the hall and thanked me from the bottom of her heart after class.

I'll never, ever forget the fart in French class.

I wonder if Becky ever still thinks of you....

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