Jump to content

Cold weather comic relief (Got any dumb jokes?)


Dave Erickson

Recommended Posts

One day Oli and Sven went out ice fishing. They started drilling into the ice and from above a voice boomed " there are no fish under the ice!"

Heeding the advice the duo moved about 20 Feet and started drilling again. Again the the voice boomed "there are no fish under the ice!"

Oli gazed up and asked "are you god?!"

"No" the voice said "I am the hockey rink manager!"

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 152
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • ccavacini

    42

  • john mcg

    10

  • WPG Gizmo

    9

  • walt lister

    9

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. 
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to sit there. 
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. 
The drunk mumbles, 'Ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either.

Link to post
Share on other sites

A man was driving down the road. He looked over and saw a baby pig. He stopped and picked it up. As he was driving around town with the pig in the car and a cop sees him and pulls him over. Cop says "Hey, What are you doing with that pig in the car?", driver says "Well, I just found the pig beside the road.".  Cop says "You should take that pig to the zoo!" the driver agrees he will take the pig to the zoo. So the next day the cop sees the guy driving around again and pulls him over. "What are you doing? I thought I told you to take that pig to the zoo!!" The man replied, "I did take the pig to the zoo. We had such a good time that we are going to the ball game today."

Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok. This has been going around In sc for a month or so.  

 

Do you know what Clemson and the moon have in common?

 

they both control the tide😎😎

Link to post
Share on other sites
Mike da Carpenter
6 hours ago, ccavacini said:

black hole.jpg

 

I sent this pic to my wife, and she sent me this one back of our GSP that she just took...

 

A290F8FD-5E84-4452-8019-D0DE4DDBCB70.thumb.jpeg.34ddb0c4db24a2f71afc7bd4b37b6e64.jpeg

Link to post
Share on other sites

Never criticize anyone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.

 

That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away......

 

And have their shoes....

Link to post
Share on other sites

A second lieutenant and a platoon sergeant walk into the latrine together.  After they relieve themselves, the LT notices the sergeant walk towards the door.  Hey sarge, in OCS they taught us to wash our hands after using the bathroom, he says.  The sergeant says without missing a beat, well in the NCO Academy they teach you not to pee on your hands.  

Link to post
Share on other sites

A penguin goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "have you seen my brother"?

 

The bartender answers "I don't know, what does he look like"?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...