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Rogue Hunter, September 20, 2019 in General Discussions
Two Irishmen walk past a bar.
No. Really. It could happen.
Yesterday I went to a corn maze. Half way through I thought I was being stalked, and it felt eerie.
Two blondes are in a boat doing what appears to be fishing. The game warden pulls up in his boat and asks to see their fishing licenses. They say they aren't fishing but are trying to clean the lake bottom of junk. They reel in their lines and low and behold they have magnets at the end of the lines. The warden says ok, have a nice day and leaves. The blondes start laughing and say silly fish cop doesn't even know there are steelhead in this lake.
Brad has Sinned
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, Bradley?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Bradley, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Brad walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads..."
a guy tells his buddy he's gonna divorce his wife...the buddy asks why...the guy says his wife hasn't talked to him in over a month...the buddy says, hey, wait a second...women like that are VERY hard to find!
a young guy is invited over to dinner friday night by his new girlfriend...she tells him if things go well it could get "interesting"...he runs off to the pharmacy and sheepishly asks the pharmacist all about condoms...he has never done this before...they settle on size, color, etc...the pharmacist asks him how many he needs, the kid says 6 or so, good enough says the pharmacist, who winks at the kid and says "good luck!". Friday night at dinner, the young lady asks her boyfriend to say grace...the kid finishes, but continues to look down, staring into his plate of food...she says, "I didn't know you were so religious!"...he says, "I didn't know your dad was a pharmacist!"
The neighbor ask me why my dog chewed on sticks all the time. I told him she has a bark deficiency.
Here's some ranch humor.
Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after awhile they got to know each other so well they decided to get married.
One broom was, of course, the bride broom and the other the groom broom.
The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.
After the wedding at the wedding dinner, the bride broom leaned over and said to the groom broom, "I think I'm going to have a little whisk broom".
IMPOSSIBLE says the groom broom.
"We haven't even swept together".
She must have been sweeping around.
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