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Cheapskate


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topdog1961

Who’s the cheapest person you ever knew? Mine was an old guy at work, an engineer.  I commute an hour and a quarter, he had about 45 minutes.  It actually added about 10 minutes to my commute to pick him up, but he was insistent that we ride together to save money and wear on our cars.  But his cars were so old, wear shouldn’t be a factor.  

 

He had a good job and lived in a comfortable middle class rural home, but he would collect cans from the garbage at work. He would dumpster dive for out of date food from the vending machines.  He also took everything home he could from the tool crib, batteries, gloves, etc.  I remember one Friday he told me about a car he had looked at.  He said he made an offer that was below what they were asking, but it was “a dandy car, a real dandy”.  On Monday morning he said he had thought about that car all weekend, and decided he’d call and offer what they were asking, because it was “a dandy car, a real dandy”. On the drive home, I asked if he had bought the car.  He said no, it was gone.  “Sold it, huh?”, I said.  “No, they junked it” he replied.  

 

One morning he asked me to pop my trunk when I picked him up.  He threw a trash bag in my trunk.   I asked what it was and he replied “trash that I can’t burn, when you stop for gas, I’ll throw it in the gas station dumpster out back.”   I put a stop to that real fast.  I also didn’t allow him to pick up road kill for his dogs when I drove.  I think he’d put a rotten skunk in his trunk. My business often required service stops on the way home, so I told him we had to stop riding together.  He said no problem, he’d wait, but I said no.  I had grown tired of his antics.  He retired soon after, and for all his saving, he unfortunately died soon after.   

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bigdog MN

Had a guy at work once that would hold his #2 until he got to work to save on TP at home.  He also went to garage sales and bought up cheap clothes, some he wore but most he would haul to Goodwill and then claim a tax write-off. He had racks of garage sale clothes in his basement.

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DD Huntress

I know a guy who dumpster dives for cans. 

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Yikes....I am frugal but those examples have me beat for sure!

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WI Outdoor Nut

My neighbor is strange to say the least.  Same as Bigdog, he holds #2 until he gets to work.  He figures then he is getting paid to poop.  This is also the same guy that is so lazy when he picked up a chow dog at the pound that was smaller than his last dogs and could fit between the spindles of the fence, rather than train the dog to stay on his side of the fence, he just fed it  until it was too fat to slide in between. 

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CheckCord

Extreme frugalness is a mental illness.  

 

 

My Wife’s sister is similar to @topdog1961 story.  If I’m not related to a person with the affliction, I avoid them totally.  
 

 

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gunsrus
22 hours ago, CheckCord said:

Extreme frugalness is a mental illness.  

 

 

My Wife’s sister is similar to @topdog1961 story.  If I’m not related to a person with the affliction, I avoid them totally.  
 

 

Agree totally . I understand frugal , we all want the best price for whatever we buy or sell . I completely avoid those who constantly gloat about how they bought this gun or that for waaaay below what the seller asks for . I completely avoid those people even if they're relatives .

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finsfurfeathers

Had a neighbor who was an odd duck. Didn't know them personally however knew of them. Seems the family was from farming stock that had made a ton of money on a couple of lucrative government expropriation land deals. Once saw him squatting under the front bushes scissors in hand giving himself a hair cut  " cause going to the barber cost money". He'd  look for snowbirds who flew south in the winter and charge them to drive their car down and do the reverse in the spring. Once asked him how much he was worth. He thought about it for a while and the response was " don't know but the lawyer knows to the last penny". A few years later saw a news report that the family was bought up on tax charges the reported fine was $500 000.  

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Marc Ret

If there's one thing the Internet's taught me, it's that cheapness isn't solely a PA Dutchman quality. 

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Alaskan Swamp Collie

I know a couple that took a vacation in Australia and camped the whole time. When they got dirty they would stop and use a hotel's swimming pool to clean off, also their towels.

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dogrunner
31 minutes ago, Alaskan Swamp Collie said:

I know a couple that took a vacation in Australia and camped the whole time. When they got dirty they would stop and use a hotel's swimming pool to clean off, also their towels.

Actually that is a good idea. 😁

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charlo slim

I know of a guy who is so cheap that he only owns and shoots ONE shotgun!  What's worse, the deluded old goober claims that doing so is actually advantageous  in terms off birds in the bag.

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Alaskan Swamp Collie
5 hours ago, charlo slim said:

I know of a guy who is so cheap that he only owns and shoots ONE shotgun!  What's worse, the deluded old goober claims that doing so is actually advantageous  in terms off birds in the bag.

Hopefully he isn't reproducing. Misguided ideas like that could be genetic and infect the human race ruining the planet.

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strato-caster

Had a friend whose dad started his career as a chemist and ascended the ranks to an oil buyer for Union Oil. He had a six figure income back in the late 60's which was really saying something.

 

He was notoriously cheap, I mean frugal.

 

He once bought a Siamese cat from a highly respected international show breeder not only as a family pet but also in the interest of showing it as a hobby.  Unfortunately, before the family could pick it up a week or two later, the cat had some sort of fight or accident and lost an eye. He went through with the purchase, not because he had an affinity for that particular cat, felt sorry for it or was preventing it from being euthanized, but ranted on and on what a fantastic bargain he got on such a beautiful pure bred cat after the breeder substantially discounted his price.

 

Early on in our friendship with his son, my brother and I were invited to come over for a backyard barbeque. Our friend's father was born and raised in Nebraska and would constantly rave about the quality of beef from his home state and how nothing compared to it. He would even have it shipped in. To our dismay, we couldn't help but notice that when he started making the hamburgers patties for dinner he dumped an almost equal portion of store brand oatmeal into the mixing bowl. He asked us what we would like his wife to put out to top our hamburger buns, and my older brother, always the diplomat, quipped, "Meat...without the oatmeal." Did I mention it was topped with government surplus American cheese because his dad had found a way to obtain it for free through some sort of a food bank?

 

He always bought rental cars from Hertz, usually top of the line Cadillac Coupe De Villes  ."Buy American", he told us, "The US makes the best products."

 

Personally, I have no problem with that line of thinking because the Caddys he purchased were always extremely low mileage, not rented out with any frequency, and were usually sold off to the public within two years. Not to mention the level of depreciation that occurs once you drive a new car off the lot.

 

What did bother his entire family was that when he decided it was time for him to purchase his daughter and son (now a senior and junior in HS) their first car so they could become more independent, he began an epic search for what would suit them best. Subsequently, being highly analytical and money conscious, he spent several months researching ad nauseum which car was the best made car for the money. Just when we were convinced he was going to pull the trigger on a VW Beetle, to our chagrin, his son and daughter became well known as "You know, the rich kids that drive an AMC Gremlin". To make matters worse, it didn't help that it was a sort of beige color with two orange racing stripes offset on the driver's side to make it look hip. It did not...

 

Jon's dad would often use his Chemistry prowess to alter food and drink for the table. We once walked into their garage to see what appeared to be a meth lab under construction but were told that it was only his dad's ambitious plan to charcoal filter cheap rot gut spirits he bought at a local Fedco. Skeptically, we were raised having been told that, "You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear." We asked our friend why the hell his pop would do such a thing, especially in light that he could certainly afford mid range if not top shelf liquor. to which he replied, "Trust me, from my experience you can't drink that $hit straight from the bottle!" He later fessed up that his father once admonished him after asking the same question. "Why would I pay a premium price for something I can make better myself?"

 

Upon his retirement. Mr. and Mrs. P travelled the globe, ate at the finest restaurants, became season ticket holders at various theaters and purchased many of the niceties that people of their status could afford. He had done very well for himself and his family, owning hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of stock, rental properties up and down the state, precious metals and a safe full of some very fine jewelry and watches. What made it hilarious though was the fact that Mr P. told us that after such an illustrious career, "The only way I will ever wear a suit again is when I leave the Undertaker's." At the time, we didn't know how prophetic his statement was.

 

For the remainder of his days (he lived to reach the ripe old age of 92) Mr. P. sported jumpsuits of various designs and colors, usually color coded to the days of the week. His son became the target of a lot of friendly needling, as you can imagine. When finally someone asked him why his dad wore jumpsuits every single day of the week, we were informed that this way his dad figured he didn't have to go through the added expense of purchasing separate pants and shirts, and that would save a load of money. Not to mention that his jumpsuits were purchased for pennies on the dollar because, "Most people don't appreciate a good jumpsuit,"  He even reported that their utility bills had been markedly lower due to washing fewer loads of laundry per week  .BONUS!!!!

 

You can only imagine the stares and glares he received while frequenting the symphony or the latest Broadway musical passing through Los Angeles. or noshing at a local fine dining establishment. His now middle aged children pleaded with him to start going to the less formal matinees and early sittings for dinner because it wasn't good for him to eat so late and it would be considerably less expensive, Thoughtfully he replied, "I can't believe I never thought of that!" Family reputation saved...almost! 

 

This is the part where I want to tell you I'd be pulling your leg if I informed you that his dad once purchased an extension phone for his garage workshop at a neighborhood rummage sale for the princely sum of $1 because he was informed, "The 7 doesn't work,"  but that would be lying.

 

As it turned out, it was actually the "6".

 

You can't make this $hit up...

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