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light a survival fire with a shotgun shell.

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If you're not careful, one emergency fire could send you flying from Pennsylvania to Vermont...nonstop.

Not quite Star Trek but I'm thinking that the technology is there to harness that and use it as a Transporter. "Light me up, Scotty."

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Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?

This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using cold water to clean.

John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan.

After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.

However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, 'Are these plates clean?'

His grandfather replied, 'they're as clean as cold water can get'em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!'

For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, 'Are you sure these plates are clean?'

Without looking up the old man said, 'I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!'

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass. John yelled and said, 'Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car'.

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted, "Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me?"

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Tell us some other jokes you heard 10 years ago.  Maybe they will still make us kind of chuckle.
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That is a good one.

I almost, kind of,  COL

Yeah, I did too, 10 years ago when I first heard it.

I'll PM you anymore jokes I have before I post em, to make sure they have gone past the best before date. mmkay.

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You heard the one about the fire at the rotary club meeting in Ky?

3 people died, according to the investigators. They were able to find all 6 teeth.

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A duck hunter was at his truck after shooting his limit that morning when a game warden pulled up.  The game warden gets out of his car doing his best to look like Buford T. Justice.  He saw the hunter had killed his limit and asked to look at the ducks.

The hunter hands the game warden a duck which the game warden turns upside down and sticks his nose in its rear side and takes a big sniff.

"Hey boy, this duck is from Florida, do you have a Florida license on you?"  

The hunter reaches in his pocket, goes through some papers and produces a Florida license complete with a duck stamp.  Upset, the game warden asks for another duck, of which he takes another big sniff.

"Hey boy, this here duck is from California, do you have a California license?"  

The hunter again rifles through his pockets to produce a California license.  Now the game warden is really mad and asks for another duck.  He takes a real big sniff this time.

"Hey boy, this here duck is exotic and is from Puerto Rico.  Do you have one of them licenses?"

The hunter looks panicked and is rifling through all of his pockets.  The game warden has a big stupid grin because he knows he caught him this time.  As the game warden is grabbing his handcuffs, the hunter produces a Puerto Rico game license.  The game warden is extremely upset by being outfoxed by the hunter.

"Just where are you from boy?" asks the game warden.

At the question the hunter drops his pants, turns around, grabbing his knees and says, "Why don't you take a big sniff and tell me where I'm from."

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They are still funny and you don't have to read past the first few lines.

I didn't, just saw the coldwater part. Which version was it?

c'mon people, don't make me use an emoticon to illustrate my thoughts....


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walks with gun
I've heard before you should moisten a small spot in your hankerchief and rub the powder into the cloth, add tinder and and hold kerchief around the muzzle and fire primer into it I suppose you could use your underware in place of the hankerchief if you have'nt moistend them too much already.    Better yet just use your shotgun to steal fire from some know it all that comes along and tells you he NEVER forgets matches, cellphones that always work, propane cookstove, 30+ gallons of water and popup shelter for 12.
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